People Discuss Signs That Someone Wouldn't Be a Good Parent

I know without a hint of doubt that I never want to be a parent. I just don't have it in me. I'm terrible with children. They annoy me, they're sometimes gross, and they make huge messes. I don't know how you're supposed to talk to kids without patronizing them. The overall arrangement wouldn't be good for me or the child.

But that doesn't mean other people shouldn't become parents. There are so many responsible, incredible individuals out there who would make perfect parents. There are also those on the other side of the spectrum. People who have no business taking care of another living being. And there are a lot of red flags for potentially bad parents.


In an Askreddit thread, user /u/SafetySnorkel posed the question, "What are some signs you should NOT become a parent?" That's a very good question. Answers varied, but for the most part, they were super spot-on. If someone can't take care of themself or if someone doesn't even want kids, incredible answers. We've collected some of the most interesting and apt things people had to say.

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  • 01
    Rectangle - Comprehensive_Day511 • 11h 4 Awards if you do it in the hopes of "saving" or "advancing" your relationship, or if you wish to "compensate" for perceived lack of personal achievements
    via www.reddit.com/user/Comprehensive_Day511
  • 02
    Font - whetstonereek • 11h 1 Award If you can't look after yourself first MyNamels MikeAswell. 11h Reply 4.3k This is the most important one. You will have a hard time caring for someone else if you are struggeling with life yourself.
    via www.reddit.com/user/whetstonereek, www.reddit.com/user/MyNameIsMikeAswell
  • 03
    Font - 23 SublimeVibe • 11h 4 Awards You view your child as a mould in which you can shape, alter, and control, pinning all of your failed aspirations and ambitions on them and forcing them to be something they are not. Rather than acknowledging your role as a guide, motivator, and a pillar of support to help them discover and forge their own identity and loving them even more because of it.
    via www.reddit.com/user/SublimeVibe
  • 04
    Font - W-S_Wannabe • 11h ● Not wanting kids. ... justwalkingalonghere. 3h Reply 2.2k ↓ I'll take it further: If you aren't 100% sure that you want kids, and aren't willing to sacrifice most of your life to do so, even if they end up being special needs or difficult, then you shouldn't have them
    via www.reddit.com/user/W-S_Wannabe, www.reddit.com/user/justwalkingalonghere
  • 05
    Font - wickedblight. 11h If you really enjoy your "me time" and have little tolerance for stupid shit. hatethisworld99. 8h That's me. Reply 2.3k
    via www.reddit.com/user/wickedblight, www.reddit.com/user/hatethisworld99
  • 06
    Font - Ok_Efficiency_9645 10h If you don't like kids, lol
    via www.reddit.com/user/Ok_Efficieny_9645
  • 07
    Human body - Pizzawithchickensoup. 8h If you're thinking of having kids so they can be your retirement plan then please. Don't. Reply 680 +
    via www.reddit.com/user/Pizzawithchickensoup
  • 08
    Font - Verlepte 10h ● If you can't feed the baby then don't have a baby Reply ↑ 406 ↓ JCXIII-R 4h ● but god WiLl pRoViDe ...
    via www.reddit.com/user/Verlepte, www.reddit.com/user/JCXIII-R
  • 09
    Font - Snak3Doct3r. 8h If you have mental health issues and can barely keep yourself happy let alone raise a human being. I quit booze five years ago. I'm a 38 year old male and have just started to get my life together and find some semblance of happiness. We've both been in therapy now and are making leaps and bounds. We had both had very tough childhoods being indigenous and all. I highly doubt my parents held us in their arms and thought 'I can't wait to abuse and neglect you! I don't think
    via www.reddit.com/user/Snak3Doct3r
  • 10
    Font - crocodiletown • 11h Selfish. The most honest thing I ever heard was a family friend tell me "I realised once I had him I could never have more. I'm to selfish, I want things too and I dont want to spread my time and money further. I love him and would do anything for him now but I'd never do it again" it's OK to be selfish in that way but better to realise it before a few kids.
    via www.reddit.com/user/crocodiletown
  • 11
    Font - bristolbulldog. 10h 1 Award You had a traumatic childhood and haven't put in much work healing from it. You'll transfer a lot of harm unintentionally to your kids, and likely choose poor partners, as you're attracted to people who mimic your trauma inducing parental figures.
    via www.reddit.com/user/bristollbulldog
  • 12
    Font - xJD88x 10h ● I always tell people "Go buy a dog first and see how you do". Want something that loves you unconditionally? Go buy a dog. Dont make a kid. Want something that will shit all Over your carpet, test your patience, and test your teaching abilities? Go buy a dog. Want something you have to plan your life around? Go buy a high-energy dog and keep it indoors. That will test whether you are ready for a kid. If your answer is "just put it in the yard and leave it there", youuuuuu rea
    via www.reddit.com/user/xJD88x
  • 13
    Rectangle - zrru. 10h If you demand your child to be like you and share the same beliefs/opinions as you. Reply Vanity-della23 - 7h Don't tell that to the evangelicals. 409 ↓
    via www.reddit.com/user/zrru, www.reddit.com/user/Vanity-della23
  • 14
    Font - Lailalou08 10h You're not in your late 20s yet. I wouldn't recommend becoming a parent your whole adult life. Reply ↑ 497 ↓ ostentia. 7h ... I love my daughter so much, but I am SO happy that I waited until I was 31 to have her. I had so much fun in my 20s, fun I couldn't have had with a baby, and now I'm having a different kind of fun in my 30s--the kind I couldn't have without her. Best of both worlds.
    via www.reddit.com/user/Lailalou08, www.reddit.com/user/ostentia
  • 15
    Font - D petitbatte 11h 2 Awards Having a lot of unhealed childhood traumas. Reply ... Phantommy555. 11h Tell that to my parents 590 +
    via www.reddit.com/user/petitbatte, www.reddit.com/user/Phantommy555
  • 16
    Font - mlo9109 9h You're abusive. Also, mostly ladies, but applies to any gender, if your partner is abusive towards you now, having a kid won't magically "change" them for the better. If anything, they will use the child as a pawn in the abuse or you'll be stuck doing all the work while they go off and do their own thing (drink, cheat, use drugs... take your pick). I had an alcoholic father and an abusive ex. I've been on both sides of this equation (abused partner and abused child). It's not a
    via www.reddit.com/user/mlo9109
  • 17
    Font - SilentSerel • 7h You're expecting the child to be your caregiver when it grows older. Reply ↑ 105 ↓ ferrocarrilusa . 7h ... Or to give you grandkids
    via www.reddit.com/user/SilentSerel, www.reddit.com/user/ferrocarrilusa

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responsibility Babies answers kids mother childhood relatable signs askreddit parenting advice dad family reddit thread daughter Reddit mom parents children Father
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